Articles of Interest

All articles written by Mitchell Milch.

Loving one's self more often than not translates to honoring the axiom: "Discretion is the better part of valor." Internet communications can take on lives of their own beyond our control and reap us devastating losses and hardships. This article speaks to the importance of reflecting on the potential consequences of what we author online before we hit "enter."

Loose Lips Sink Ships: The Anatomy of Public Cyber Shaming

The Fundamentals For Creating Healthy Mindsets For Success

A Meditation on Meditation

This article discusses how meditation trains our brains to learn from and creatively benefit from our learning experiences.

A Formula For Happiness In A Sometimes Cruel World

A New Lease on Growth and Development (at Any Age!) with HIIT

Anger Management

Busting Some Myths About Anger Management

This article busts some myths about anger management in the service of emphasizing the importance of being with, and learning how to think about and use our anger constructively.

Own Anger to Manage It

This article discusses why anger can feel like a loaded weapon for some of us and leave us feeling as if we are at the risk of seriously hurting and/ or being seriously hurt by others. It emphasizes how to bring the distress level down so that we can express anger in mutually respectful and considerate ways.

Stress Management

Stress Management: Is Necessity the Mother of Good Inventions, Bad Inventions or Whatever Gets You Through the Night?

This article discusses the ins and outs of managing stress so that we are able to meet our responsibilities to ourselves and others. The article looks at stress along a continuum from levels of stress that do not promote optimal growth and adaption, to levels of stress that do.

Having a Sense of Humor is No Laughing Matter

Suffering is a constant in life. How we manage suffering will largely determine our levels of stress which in turn impact our physical health, mood, and enjoyment of life. This article addresses the key role humor plays in managing the stress triggered and /or compounded by how we feel and think about our suffering.

Couples Counseling/Successful Life Transitions; Separation/Divorce

Retirement Would Be A Cinch If I Didn’t Have To Stop Working

Life transitions often leave us painfully aware of requirements that we grow as executive managers of our lives. This is a composite story of many patients of mine whose hopeful expectations of retirement were at first, bitterly disappointed. It is a heartening tale of one man’s discovery of and use of resources to embrace new found freedoms as opportunities for joy, self-esteem, and self-confidence.

The Keys To Turning Domestic Conflicts Into Win-Win Propositions

After years of couples counseling I decided to write an article summarizing the behavioral keys to building and sustaining successful relationships that balance respect and consideration for the individuals and their partnerships.

"Honey, I'll be right in to talk as soon as I put my football gear on."

This article discusses the importance of creating an environment of safety if partners are to find freedom in their relationships to experience love, acceptance and satisfaction through open self expression.

How Can We Be So Hurt By Our Partners When They Behave Without Malice?

This article discusses when couples in crisis get there because of one partner’s idealized and outdated expectations of the other partner that cannot be fulfilled. When thankless sacrifices are made in pursuit of these longings, love can turn quickly to hate and old wounds are reopened.

Do You Become A Human Vending Machine When Your Buttons Are Pushed?

This article discusses strategies to help spouses sensitize the other to communications they find hurtful so that vicious cycles of attack and counterattack can be broken.

Recovering from Addictions

You Don’t Lose Weight on a Diet of Emotional Deprivation

This article discusses how disordered eating has become a norm in society. Disordered eating may become an adaptive yet, rigid and automatic growth stunting reaction to perceived threats. These threats are future projections of past attempts to depend on others to be protected and nurtured. I will offer a clinical example to illustrate my ideas, and how psychotherapy can restore new choice points in meeting these needs safely, so that disordered eating becomes a thing of the past.

Tangos of Debt Accumulation: What Are They All Worth?

This articles looks at addiction as a dance of collusion. It stresses how over spending can be symptomatic of difficulties regulating emotions, regulating self esteem, and vulnerabilities to feeling indebted to others we depend on.

Anatomy Of An Addictive Behavior: Not For Men Only

This article illustrates how the compulsion to repeat history can be played out when needs are sexualized and a self-defeating, addictive relationship is formed.

Don’t Tell Me to Stop Training!

This article discusses how aerobic exercise, by nature healthy in many ways, when over done can be damaging both physically and emotionally.

Parent Education/Single Parent Issues

Dating Tips for Single Parents

This article discusses the importance of grieving the loss of a marital partner before re-entering the dating scene. It emphasizes the importance of developing self-sufficiency so that we don’t confuse falling in love with running from being alone.

Don’t Let The Fear of Screwing Up Your Kids Screw You Up As A Parent

This article discusses how to overcome the challenges of meeting the needs of our children when our needs as children were not adequately met. It’s a testament to the importance and power of personal forgiveness to give up on “doing over” what is already over and done.

Parental Authority and the Criminal Justice System

This article grew out of experiences interviewing adolescents, young adults and their parents prior to their children’s arraignments on a host of criminal offenses. My findings are instructive for all parents interested in raising respectful and law abiding citizens.

Single Parents and Security Blankets

This article explores the implications and consequences of single parents turning their children into security blankets if they don’t meet needs left unmet in the wake of separation/divorce.

Overcoming Performance Anxieties/Performance Enhancement

How to Overcome Sports Performance Anxiety

This article makes arguments supporting the old adage that life is very much a “mental game.” Success on all fields of play require mental fitness as well as physical fitness.

Shining Moment: How Mindfulness Sets The Stage For High Performance

Mindfulness is the linchpin for testing our blueprints for living effectively against our empirical analyses of our lived moments. Our struggles to improve the accuracy of the conclusions we draw from our investigations into the dynamics of these encounters, will determine how we grow in our capacities to apply scientific laws to mastering new challenges.

Habits That Help: Setting Yourself Up With Habits Of Self-Care

Our exercises of benevolent and disciplined authority as project managers ensures their completion. This article discusses the crucial habits required to stay the course and complete our goals. It takes many people to raise a child and many health promoting, stress regulating habits to ensure that we maintain our health, energy level and creative focus to cross the finish line of our marathon pursuits.

Worried To Distraction: Habits That Inhibit Performance

If mindful observation is the organizing structure for our growth and development, habits that call into question our competence to take charge of our lives will inhibit, undermine, or distract us from the challenge to rise above potential conflicts with the norms, rules, ideals, and belief systems we were indoctrinated into as children. We must develop habits that generate confidence in our abilities to meet basic needs before we climb higher on our hierarchy of needs.